Trash The Dress – Bridal Make Up Package

Dear Photos in Cancun,

First, thank you for offering this opportunity to the forum. It will be a dream come true for a special bride and groom. And, it’s great to see people giving back to the community and paying it forward. This can mean the difference for a couple who want to have a memorable TTD session, but simply cannot afford one. I truly hope others will follow in your steps. Second, thank you for giving me another chance to share the story of how I will be marrying my best friend, my amazing soulmate, in nine much awaited months. It’s a very personal story, and part of me can’t believe I’m about to share all these intimate details with the world. But, the other part of me knows I have to so that you can understand how wonderful the man I’m going to marry truly is.

Socially, I use my middle name, Julien, and my fiancé’s name is Jake. We had a whirlwind romance, a lifetime of events shared in just mere months, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I was living in cold, frigid Chicago, but was a pretty frequent traveler. One of the places I always seemed to visit was Los Angeles. A few of my cousins and best friends lived in LA, so I was there a lot. As fate would have it, I agreed to meet a couple of my friends out for Happy Hour at a lounge down Sunset Blvd.

Meanwhile, Jake was having Happy Hour at another restaurant with some of his friends. At the time, Jake had lived in LA for four years. He was supposed to be working that night, but the cigar lounge he managed was apparently closed. So, why not do a happy hour? Shortly after the Katana happy hour ended, Jake went back to the Cigar Lounge whilst his friends went to Trocadero, where I was enjoying a dirty martini with my friends.

And here it begins…

One day, I’d had a miserable day. Nothing was going right. I was irritable, law school was driving me crazy, work was absurd, and there was probably a raven following me around pointing to imminent doom, too. I went home to take a nap, and woke up in a daze to my door’s buzzer going off. I’d gotten flowers! Or… someone had. It couldn’t be for me. Who in the world would send me flowers? Must be for the neighbor. But, gasp, they were for me! They were from Jake. He’d had flowers sent with a little card telling me to cheer up because he was thinking of me and missing me. I was so touched, I didn’t know what to do! But, quickly after, I was given another surprise. My phone rang, I answered and it was a local spa! Jake had searched for spas in the area and bought me a massage to help me unwind from all the stress. I called him, in tears, and he just said… maybe it warrants a trip out to Chicago to come spend Valentine’s with me. I was so happy and my heart was filled with such comforting warmth. On his last day, we were taking the train to O’hare Airport. It was so bittersweet because we didn’t have concrete plans to see each other again. Before we’d met, Jake had been single for EIGHT YEARS. But we wanted to be together, and we knew something was different. For once, we were both willing to give long distance a shot.

If that were the end of the story, if at that moment, I knew he was it for me, then it would be a tender and sweet story indeed. But what we’ve shared goes far beyond. I made a decision to move out to Los Angeles following graduation. And, for months we were long distance until I finally moved. I moved directly into Jake’s bachelor pad, and tried to study for the CA Bar Exam.

One morning, I’d woken up very early (around 2 a.m.) with severe back pain. I’ve had a few injuries and incidents before, but this pain was unreal. I told myself it would go away. By the time the sun rose and we were waking up, the pain was excruciating. Jake went and bought us breakfast and heat pads for my back. He was so concerned, but I insisted I would be fine. As the hours passed and Jake went to work, the pain never subsided. Instead, the pain began to move and only seemed to be getting worse. I tried to call my relatives who lived in LA, but their response was that I must be a crybaby and overreacting. They said it would pass and to just take it easy. Finally, when I couldn’t bear the pain any longer, I called Jake who was at work. I told him I was scared, but thought it was time to go to the emergency room. He immediately rushed home as soon as he could and carried me out to the car. He took me to the hospital and waited with me for hours, while I was cringing in pain. Turns out, I had appendicitis. I had surgery at 2:00 a.m. While I recuperated, Jake didn’t leave my side. He slept in the hospital with me, ate the cafeteria food, and took time off work to make sure I was getting better. He bought all of my medication, took care of me better than a nurse could, made all of my meals, and nursed me back to health.

This entire time, I’d been unemployed since moving to LA. And, Jake had been taking care of us financially and now physically, as well. I was unsure as to whether I could sit for the Bar Exam, and was so worried about the burden and stress I’d be putting on Jake. After all, he loved me, I knew it. But we weren’t engaged yet and I felt so guilty putting all the weight on him. I struggled to recover, but finally decided it was best to postpone the exam. Good thing I did, too.

On yet another morning, the day before the Bar Exam actually, I woke up in even more pain and discomfort. This time, it was (ahem) pain in my feminine parts. I felt swollen and sore, and had no idea why. It was as though my body had suddenly rejected me. So, the following day, with the pain, swelling, and now emanating heat only getting worse, I went to the clinic. I didn’t have health insurance, and after just having had surgery 2 weeks ago for my appendectomy, I didn’t know what to do. The nurse practitioner examined me and was shocked. She said I needed to go to the hospital immediately. I drove, in tears, to the hospital, which was about 40 miles away from where I currently was. On the way to the hospital, I was frantic and emotional. Jake was so worried, he drove out to where I was on the highway, turned around, and followed me back. Once we got to the hospital, it was another waiting game. I was diagnosed with a Bartholin Gland Abscess. The treatment was to drain the fluid. Unfortunately, because there was so much pressure and swelling, they couldn’t give me a local anesthetic first. So, the procedure proceeded, without any anesthetics. Jake was in tears when he saw me, knowing how much pain I was in. But we thought the worst was over. Once again, he was taking care of me, nursing me back to health. The worst was far from over. I ended up back in the emergency room two more times. Each time, they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, why it wouldn’t get better, why the medications weren’t working… the last time, I went in for what was just supposed to be a follow up. I weigh 100 lbs and took had 4 hydrocodone prior to this check up because the pain would not subside. I was in constant agony. And the whole appendicitis thing? All that pain? It had NOTHING on the pain I had been feeling the past week. The incisions were packed with gauze, and the doctor performing the follow up began to pull out the gauze. I screamed and immediately began to cry. I’ve broken bones and gotten concussions before, I’ve fallen from 10 feet in the air on multiple occasions, and I never cried. This made me cry. Jake was there every step, holding my hand, trying to keep my mind off the pain. Because the doctor had already began removing the gauze, he didn’t have much choice. Like a bandaid, do it fast and get it over with. He asked how many hydrocodone I’d taken, advised me to take two more, then pulled out the remaining gauze and looked at me with such genuine sympathy. He gave us the news. He was doing a direct admit to the hospital because more work needed to be done. I cried and cried. At that point, I was overwhelmed. The pain was unbearable and the idea of the tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills was daunting. Jake just held me tightly and assured me we’d get through it together. He kept saying, “We’ll be okay.”

An hour later, I was admitted into the hospital and getting ready to have my second surgery in 3 weeks. Morphine stopped working. Hydrocodone stopped working. To prep me for surgery, I was given enormous amounts of delaudid and percocet, which I would remain on for the duration of my hospital stay. Because I’d just been put under, they didn’t want to risk another session. So, I was awake for this one. Jake held my hand and sat right next to me, talking me through the procedure. So on one side of the curtain was this beautiful man, in soul and body, comforting me and on the other side was a team of 6 doctors, holding flash lights, probes, and devices, working on my broken vagina. I am proud to say, however, that the doctors said I was the most optimistic and happy patient they’d ever had. I guess most patients don’t crack jokes and have conversations while strangers are doing medical procedures on their delicate areas. Once again, Jake was my everything. He was my support, my laughter, my comfort… my entire life.

I had a device implanted to keep the incisions open and drain remaining fluids. I had to wear adult diapers because of the bleeding and draining. And, I needed help to get into them and put them on. I couldn’t walk, stand up for long periods of time, do anything active, or even stay awake for very long on my medication. Yet somehow, through all of this, through the absolutely no make up, through weeks of intense recovery, through a roller coaster of emotions, the no sex, and the health issues, Jake still loved me and still thought I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Needless to say, I honestly looked like I’d just well… gone through all of what I’d described, like I was some feral child on a stranded island. But, Jake still looked at me with his beautiful green eyes, and smiled at me every night and every morning, and held me tight as I fell asleep and woke up each day.

Now, many scars and scary moments later, here we are. Jake is still supporting us and is our sole provider, while I am studying for the Bar exam which will be at the end of February. Everything he does is for us, for our future. When he goes to bed at night, after working 18 hour shifts and thinks I’m fast asleep, he whispers that I make him want to be a better person.

He is my soulmate and the better part of me. No matter what life brings us and how hard this past year has been, I’ve been through it with him. And his love and what we’ve shared together is something I wouldn’t trade for the world.

That’s the story of how we came to be. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and thank you for letting me share it with you.

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